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Saturday, May 26th 2007

00:13:18 (4466 days, 13h, 1min ago)

Friday Night at the Movies

  • Mood: Contemplative
  • Listening: Axis: Bold As Love- Jimi Hendrix Experience
  • Reading: Paradise Lost - Milton, John
Ever wish your life was more like a movie? At one point or another most of us have. Their story lines are always so glorious, so fantastic, and with the simple power of a hollywood montage, the hero can always accomplish any feat placed before him. This is the primary reason i wish my life was more like a movie. I am currently posed with a quite serious situtation, i can work resonably hard, continue living my life, grow old, get married, and raise my kids, -or-, and heres the kicker, i could simply slack off and live in the moment casting aside almost any hope for a meaningful life.

Though to most the answer to this question is as easy as any they've ever been asked, to me it comptetes directly with my belief of conservation of energy(I may be in danger of failing physics, but it dosn'ty stop me from honoring it's principals.) something i take alot of stock in. As such my problems have almost gotten the best of me. As a matter of fact despite my inextricable feeling that i need to write i cannot for the best of me work on my portfolio project which was do over a month ago!? while this is partially because i need access to the web for reaserch, something my father refuses to provide, it is mostly just laziness which prevents me.

Another of the multitude of problems which plague me is the community service handed to me by the state of massachusetts. Though i have been steadilly working it off for almost a year i have yet to make much of a dent. As i am only about half done with this challange and have only a single month left to complete it(the penelty is probation extension ) I feel this challange would be difficult to overcome. Still though, this challange is brought on by a flaw in myself I've refered to as laziness.

The state is also taxing me finacially, though not in the traditional sense. As my monthly income is meager at best, and my car insurance is not, I find that my net income for this month will be in the red. This is more than just a moderate inconvience sense i have a class trip to hampton beach and was hopeing to pick up some supplies while out of town. That plan has fallin through however as i am gathering the cahnge from under my bed just to keep up with my financial deficet. This is perhaps the only problem which i am not readilly able to solve by not being lazy. I have looked for ezxtra hours, but with so many youths on the market today it is generally all based on who you know, leaving me out. With any luck however this problem will ultimately be solved by my own ingenuity, even if it's by means i'm not willing to disclose here.

Perhaps the most daunting challange though, is one which invovles a girl. Since first realizing her beuty over a year ago, i have been draw to her. Now though, after having just come out of a relationship, there is just something about her which inflames my senses. The longing is often unbearable, I've even left her presence when she is surrounded by other males becuase my prehistoric instinct to punch them in the face often begins to overcome my common sense. The problem with this love is complex, for we have grown detached over the past year, and she is taken, preoccupied with another, one which i can not rightly say is not better for her. Yet still i feel i must take some action towards her, in the hopes that i will be able to see her at some point during the summer. This problem is caused by yet another of my personal flaws, shyness. If i could only speak to her my feelings i'm sure she would at least set aside some of her time for me.
^^^If you just read that paragraph and your not my sister Jillian you probably don't know who it's about, so don't try to decipher, instead just disregard.

Getting back to what the primary point of this writing was intended to be, the tasks i have outlined would be remarkably simple if only the world around me would suddenly bust out into a movie style montage to the powerful sounds of something like the end of Ennio Morricone's song L' Arena (from Kill Bill Vol.2), or the chorus of songs like John Caferty's Hearts on Fire (Rocky 4, DRACO!!) and  Your the Best Around (karate Kid). If this were to happen i'm sure i could best all of these challanges and beat up a giant russian boxer. SO please, pray with me to your given deity that sometime soon my life will be infused with the power chords and motivational lyrics of an eighties rock song.

Peace Bi-Hatches, Zypher T. Leetest
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