This entry is inspired by the true life events and exploits of one Zypher T. Leetest, so don't read it on a full stomach. Although i come to you bearing news that is almost all up to the reader to determine it's nature, one piece of news that i have is clearly good: I have found a new supplier of jolt in massachusetts. The caffinated cocktail of corn syrup, artificial flavors, and taurine (which I think is like bull semen or something?) is the necter of the greek god nike, and upon discovering that cumberland farms on federal street in greenfield massachusetts is now stocking the stuff and the early release of my school, I imediatly raced down to stake my claim. Three servings of Jolt cherry bomb later and here i am...well kinda. Lets quickly examine my caloric intake over the day...
7:00 am, i wake up and have a stick of winterfresh gum as brushing my teeth still leaves a bad taste in my mouth the likes of which could induce vomiting.
12:10 PM I skip school lunch becuase it's nasty-ass chicken quesadilla's, again there is a risk of induced vomiting (additionally at this point i learn that Jolt is now sold at cumby's).
1:30 PM the first of 220 Jolts of caffine thouches down on the runway of my tounge, three-quarters of the container soon follow.
4:52 PM after a brief nap i awake to finish the rest of my cherry bomb flavored Jolt, to find that when swallowing instantanious heartburn resualts(i believe this is due to the lack of carbohydrates in my system and the rush of caffine to my bloodstream).
6:30 Pm Finally crashing from lack of caffine i swallow my pride along with two glasses of pepsi sludge (gag worthy i know, but unfortunetly it's what they pawn off as cola at my place of employment).
7:20 PM finish that second horrible glass, but it's cool cause i'm also being pumped up by music from the motion picture rocky, gonna fly now! Also, the cook prepares i meal of five fried chicken tenders and a basket of fries.
8:07 PM i return home to down even more Cherry flavored Jolt, and decide to hold off on eating my chicken for the following reasons:
1. after the massive amounts of caffine i have ingested, i'm not sure i have any lining left in my stomach, and
2. I'm hopeing that i can induce Caffine Hallucinations.
Now you may be thinking at this point, or at least you should be, that i take pretty shitty care of my body, or at least my digestive system and circulatory system. It must be known however that this is a very rare occasion on which i found a ready supply of a highly caffinated substance and was able to procure it, thus i wished to utilize it to the fullest extent possible.
Though it may sound like some horrible side-effect of a drug over-dose(and the medical community would probably say it is) a caffine induced halucination is more like a dream than an actual hallucination. There are also many obstactles in the process of inducing one. such as caffines tendentcy to make your muscular system hyper and "twitchy" as well as the idea of depriving yourself of high carb food which many people find excruciating. I however was in the perfect scenario for this plan to succeed.
Because of my snow-day yesterday my sleep cycle was nearly inversed, this meant that i had gotten only a single hour of sleep the night before, a good start to creating muscle fatigue, a crucial ingredient in the crictical combination. Also I was working tonight, meaning that my upper-body would drain itself of much of it's "twitchy" energy and standing for three hours would flood my legs with oxygen rich blood. This fatigue ultimate means that although i could allow my muscles to slip into a state of relaxation and almost sleep, my mind could remain hopped up on caffine. Essentially i am tricking my body into falling asleep while still retaining my mental consciousness.
Because this is such a fragile state of being, it is pertinent that your muscles be fatigued in order to stop the caffine twitches, optherwise you will simply awaken and nothing is gained. To achieve this fatigued state, at least in my case, i elevate my legs above my core and upper body to drain the blood from them and reintroduce the blood to my upper-body which is already irreversible tierd from working. this position also allows more blood flow to the brain making it ever more aware.
the dreams which come are not intirely like normal dreams which occur when the body naturally enters REM sleep. Instead they seem to be more logically and based on and in the factual world. Whereas one might be able to fly in their own fantasical dream worlds, the world which is entered in this hybrid form of meditation and tripping is much more realistic. So much so that even the reactions of people or the timing of events is more accurate. Although one would be justified in asking why someone would want to escape to a world where the laws of men still restrain, and the laws of physics still prevail over ones will, it is that very quality of realism which draws me to it. By having a more realistic perspective of what may happen in a given scenario, i can better predict the outcome of such an event in real-life.
I also use it as a tool to explore where my feeling truely lay. Becuase your brain is still conscious and also in a state of creative dreaming, it can express thoughts and feelings which you may be subconsciouly repressing in your day to day life. Although i cannot divuldge the details of why or what i wished to explore, in order to protect someone very close to me, i can say that this state has once again fullfilled it's task of providing me with enlightenment.
Now if either of my sisters is still reading this i have to say three things:
1. Don't worry about it. like i said this is a very rare occurance and having been shown all i need i will not enter this state agin until i am sure my body has fully recoverd from the caffine poisoning, sleep deprevation, and temporary starvation.
2. Don't tell mom, she hates when i have caffine.
3. If you don't feel that my writing and publishing this is a "sane" thing to do, or if it seems utterly incoherrent, try to remember that I am currently under some pretty mentally strainging circumstances.
The final thought for the day is that i love you all and would take a bullet to stop you from stubbing a tow.
Peace and Luv, Zypher T. Leetest