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Wednesday, August 23rd 2006

22:41:19 (4837 days, 0h, 33min ago)

FireFlies

  • Mood: [complacent] complacent
Another night, Another revelation. So tonight when i finally decided it was safe to abandon my post (room) in search of food, having spent all day hiding from my step-family, I proceeded to search my kitchen for sustanance. after minutes of searching for some kind of edible enjoymeny, i remebered that i had recently purchused a box of pepperoni elio's pizza from the nearest Big Y world class market. after throughly inspecting the box to insure there were no evident signs of either my family tampering with or worse outright stealing my coveted pizza, I promptly removed the packaging and as i placed the pizza on an all to thin paper plate i also opened and slid my pizza into my microwave. Brief moments later when i had finished the nessacary input (2-0-0) i pressed the start button and turned towards the window. This last move was more useful than intended as the microwave blew a main circuit in my house and the lights promptly went out. My father, previously stuck to the couch as though he was glued there, raced downstairs to investigate and fumbled around for minutes with no resault. finally he pulled the main and all lights and electricity in the house was instantly gone. Although i have experienced this before the sensation that followed was one of a unique nature. As i said i was facing a window that overlooks my family's yard, and as i watched out this window i saw something i'd never fully appreciated until today. The place where i grew up, illuminated only by the shimmer of fireflys and silent other than the sound of the wind and the chirp of it's inhabitants, lying before me as though it was being presented as a gift. There was no cars, no tv's, not even the white noise of electrons sugring through the curcuits of my residence. It was peaceful, the sensation is best described as a mental orgazm. For moments i found myself wrapped up in the scene, recounting times that have long since past. Yet as time grew on i realized the truth of the matter, I could never have this true peace. I realized this becuase even after just mere moments of observing the serene scene which lay before me, my mind began to numb. No longer was it nessacary to know what the diagonal of a tweleve ft. square figure was (12) or even what the sum of 2 and 2 is (4). More shocking than the revaltion that i felt this peace at the cost of inteligent thought is that my emotions, stirring as they were, were still focused on her... It was odd and to articulate the feeling accurately would take a poet of an unseen caliber but i can truncate the feeling as one of longing. I felt the need to share the feeling with the one i love... and unforunetly that is a current impossibility. Needless to say (as this is a typed document) the lights came back on and as reluctantly as possible I returned to my life, made my pizza, and as i walked past the living room where my father had once again nested i caught a glimpse of scrubs while he was channel surfing. All and all today was successful, i ate pizza, watched scrubs, got calls from two of my girls, reveled in simplicity, and if my information is correct the world is now heavy by one female Dodd which is hardly a bad thing.
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